Scars

Hey there! Time for a lil bit of Suchis (yeah I did turn the a lil bit of Alexis my way, guilty as charged). Yup a fellow fan gal of Schitt's Creek.

But this post isn't about how I resonated with the show. It's about me & one of my scars. Now please note I am not, in any way, proclaiming that my issues are more important than others. It's just that this is my niche & I wanna talk. Are you listening?? I hope so.

Yes I have been dealing with a lot things for a really long time, alone. Juggling. Creating a facade that everything is prim & proper. Yes you've guessed it correctly I am the eldest sibling. And the tipping point was contracting COVID-19 in the month of April. 

I wanna discuss my journey. Rather the aftermath of it, really. See even though I was fighting too many things at too many frontiers I didn't lose my shit. I was never anxious about anything in life even if life was dealing a load of craps. Even when my test result were +ve me & my roomie were guffawing about that. Just roomie stuff.

But after surviving the COVID-19, I realised I am becoming more & more anxious. Can't sleep, can't breathe, sudden panic attacks, growing rage like Godzilla, can't smile, repeating myself while talking unconsciously & lord knows I can go on & on. I wasn't this. And it's hard to discuss this to anyone as some would become panicky, family mostly, & some would just outright scratch that out by discussing some other random person's tragedy. I know people have severe condition & I am lucky that I survived & still earning. But I too have an issue. Just listen for once. Would you not?

So here I am, being a complete tattletale infront of you. Sometimes just listen to your friend/sibling/partner/colleague/kin. Don't preach. Just say, "Yeah that sucks".

You know I heard you say that now ☺️. Thanks man! I needed that tonight. 

And that's one of my new scars. I'll heal. Soon. 

It's Suchis & I am signing off.