Been there Been there

Fortunate are the souls that haven't been there. Yes. Some of us have been there at some point of time. And for some of us, we lodged there for a while. Some of still live there. Some of us could finally bid adieu. I, for one, have been there, stayed there, broke the invisible & intangible ceiling & could finally bid adieu. But bidding adieu to that place isn't a cake walk afterall & it most certainly isn't complete. I bid adieu every night, every damn night. 

Depression/Mental health. Yes, most of us weren't offered a life of bliss, a bed of roses & showers of blessing. I couldn't realise at first that I was drowning. I mean I was the topper, an all-rounder, smart, fighter, a divergent. I kept fighting one fight after another, one battle after another & one war after another. Exhausted. Exalted. This warrior was war torn. But life, life wasn't finished. It kept going. Blow after blow, punch after punch. But the only thing I knew that I had to stand up, everytime. Wield the hilt of my sword, take it out of the scabbard & hold my ground. Everyday. How it felt? Well, it felt like, my whole body smashed & shattered & brought back together like a jigsaw puzzle. Was it painful? Yes. I was alive but dead inside. But lucky for me I have had seen a lot of movies & I mean, a lot of movies, I knew there would be a light at the end of the tunnel. I just had to hang in there. See I don't just watch movies/series, I learn from them. So I stayed. Excruciating pain followed almost as if it were a universal fact. 

Hope & despair joined hands resulting in a bland concoction. A disgusting broth. That I had to drink all the time. But hand on hilt, sword newly polished, I kept standing my ground. A lot of people erased from my life, a lot of people entered. Still holding my ground. Hand on hilt.

Does it still haunt? Yes. It does. How did you cope? Hand on hilt. Was I surrounded by friends? Nope. Nada. Niet. I am what you could call a Lone Wolf. (Psst.. I would seriously prefer to be called the Lone Wolf, you know,  I am an Arya Stark fan)

So, even if you aren't surrounded by friends & life has been nothing but a bitch, hand on hilt, babe. Hold your ground. You too can come out of that hell loop. You have to keep moving forward. If life gave you lemons then all you need to do is serve a dry martini. 🍸

Cry if you want to but only you're the knight in shining armour.

And on that note, it's Suchis & I send out a big bear hug to you.